Valentine’s Day 2009. 8:39 PM…The bookstore is closing in 41 minutes and I’ve yet to get a gift for my sweetie. Add to this pressure I know he went out two, two damn days ago and secured my gift. He’s usually the last minute “picked this up at the gas station” gift kinda guy.
Looking around at my choices, I spy a myriad of cherub-cheeked cupids peering out at me from picture books suited for children as well as overly sentimental adults. There were books of love poems, but he’d really know I was desperate. He knows I know he’d never read them, and he knows how I feel about poetry. I’d rather a hot poker to the eye than endure poetry! Luckily the store didn’t carry candy and/or booze…too easy a cheat. Fraught with feelings of inadequacy for forgetting a little thing like picking up a Valentine, I was shown the book of all Valentine’s books, The Kama Sutra!
We already have a pocket sized edition, good for getting wild in VW Bug or in a pop-up tent or when the “pop-up” Kama Sutra would be too cumbersome. I’ve also got a copy of the Comma Sutra, it’s really helping me with the my heavy handed punctuation…according to the subtitle, it’s to “position yourself for success with Good Grammar.” I wish I could say I used it often, but mostly I’m just a sucker for a good title! Getting back to my dilemma…I was looking at one of the fancier versions, The Complete Kama Sutra, the illuminated Erotic Art of India. I know they have cornered the market on acceptable sex texts, but I’m more fond of their hot exotic food. Ah cookbooks!
Oh to cover my love in chocolate…but then again, we didn’t need a recipe for that. Warm chocolate, drizzle and enjoy. Almost as easy at wet, rise, repeat…oddly similar now that I write it out. But I wander off topic…
I continued to look around the store, but held onto the copy of Kama Sutra. No point parting with a classic. How could I show my sweetie that care deeply, know him intimately, other than the oblivious erotic Indian sex book. He has so many interests…fixing things, collecting things, building things, making things go faster…all of which there are plenty of books on. Being a city boy, south-side of Chicago he brags often, he’s really taken to the woods. And he’s talked about getting this farm animal and that piece of much required farm equipment. So far I’ve gotten him a beagle, a lawn tractor and some bunnies. But I still think something’s on the tip of my tongue…some farm thing that I can get with minutes to spare at the bookstore. I rushed to the “Pet” section, made my choice and grinned my way to the counter.
I returned The Kama Sutra to the rack of eager but not selected Valentine’s gifts and plopped down my two books. How to Raise Chickens and Keeping Chickens. Content with my reasoning, either way tonight’s gift was to be about raising cock!
Looking around at my choices, I spy a myriad of cherub-cheeked cupids peering out at me from picture books suited for children as well as overly sentimental adults. There were books of love poems, but he’d really know I was desperate. He knows I know he’d never read them, and he knows how I feel about poetry. I’d rather a hot poker to the eye than endure poetry! Luckily the store didn’t carry candy and/or booze…too easy a cheat. Fraught with feelings of inadequacy for forgetting a little thing like picking up a Valentine, I was shown the book of all Valentine’s books, The Kama Sutra!
We already have a pocket sized edition, good for getting wild in VW Bug or in a pop-up tent or when the “pop-up” Kama Sutra would be too cumbersome. I’ve also got a copy of the Comma Sutra, it’s really helping me with the my heavy handed punctuation…according to the subtitle, it’s to “position yourself for success with Good Grammar.” I wish I could say I used it often, but mostly I’m just a sucker for a good title! Getting back to my dilemma…I was looking at one of the fancier versions, The Complete Kama Sutra, the illuminated Erotic Art of India. I know they have cornered the market on acceptable sex texts, but I’m more fond of their hot exotic food. Ah cookbooks!
Oh to cover my love in chocolate…but then again, we didn’t need a recipe for that. Warm chocolate, drizzle and enjoy. Almost as easy at wet, rise, repeat…oddly similar now that I write it out. But I wander off topic…
I continued to look around the store, but held onto the copy of Kama Sutra. No point parting with a classic. How could I show my sweetie that care deeply, know him intimately, other than the oblivious erotic Indian sex book. He has so many interests…fixing things, collecting things, building things, making things go faster…all of which there are plenty of books on. Being a city boy, south-side of Chicago he brags often, he’s really taken to the woods. And he’s talked about getting this farm animal and that piece of much required farm equipment. So far I’ve gotten him a beagle, a lawn tractor and some bunnies. But I still think something’s on the tip of my tongue…some farm thing that I can get with minutes to spare at the bookstore. I rushed to the “Pet” section, made my choice and grinned my way to the counter.
I returned The Kama Sutra to the rack of eager but not selected Valentine’s gifts and plopped down my two books. How to Raise Chickens and Keeping Chickens. Content with my reasoning, either way tonight’s gift was to be about raising cock!
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